The Fifth Element
by alexismoonshine
Summary: What if Pettigrew was innocent? What if they never found the guilty one? Ramona Weatherspoon never set out with the intention of being bad, but falling in, and consequently out, with The Marauders does tend to screw with one's intentions.
1. Prologue

The concept of good and bad, pure and corrupt, moral and immoral, plays on everybody's mind. How do you define 'good', anyway? Is there a certain list of criteria that you have to comply to? What makes a person, or an action, good? Morality, consideration of others, selfless intention? And what's more, how do you define evil? Is an evil deed, performed for the sake of something good, really evil? All there rhetorical questions and man cannot answer but one. Maybe the shallow, thoughtless ones amongst us have it easier. Imagine it, not ever really having to think. How blissful.

Although their fame, or… notoriety may be a better term, was wide-spread, engulfing, and ludicrously over-publicized, I can wager that there a fair few things that most people don't know about The 'Marauders'. I mean, it takes more energy than most people have to quash a well-formed rumour. I think, that if any of us were bold enough to tell the truth, Harry Potter's life, and the lives of those around him, would have been a little different. The list of things that the general population doesn't know about our heroes, is long, and I'm not going to bother listing them all because that'd be boring, but I'll give you a wee few just to kick off. Firstly, most people don't know that Peter Pettigrew, otherwise known as Wormtail, was innocent, or that there was a fifth Marauder, or that that fifth, currently un-named individual was the reason for the death of Harry's parents, or, in fact, that that fifth Marauder, animagus and mischief maker, was me. First they blamed Sirius, then they blamed Peter, and I'm sure Remus and his 'furry little problem' caused a bit of a stir when pointing fingers, but they never looked twice at me. Maybe it was because I was a girl, who knows… all I know is that there is a murderer somewhere inside me, a passion for hatred that stirs every time I see her face. My years at Hogwarts should have been the best of my life, but jealousy ruined it all. Of course, don't presume that I started out with the intention of being a treacherous, slimy, criminal git. I didn't. In fact, thinking back on it I was really quite sweet.


	2. Chapter One

Being the only member of her family with any knowledge of muggle communication systems, Ramona Weatherspoon was happy to say that she was entitled to spend more than three hours at a time on the telephone, the priviledge of having blissfully ignorant magical parents came in handy on this particular day as Ramona attempted to explain her sudden change of heart to the desperately sobbing Harriet, who was at this current moment, blowing her nose very loudly on the other end of the phone line.

"B-but I thought you liked Rollstone Park." She sniffled, still gargantuanly miffed at her magical best friend's decision to give up correspondence witchcraft and drop out of state high school in preparation to attend real magic classes at some castle way out in the middle of nowhere. For Ramona, who was usually a sensible, practical and diligent girl, it was absolutely radical.

"I just don't belong there, Harri." Ramona replied, twirling the phone cable around her fingers.

"Besides, I have O. to pass this year, and I just don't think I can handle the workload of state school on top of that."

"Of course you can. You've managed it every other year."

"Yes but it's harder this year, and I mean, I would sort of be nice to be around…"

"Around what?" Harriet snapped. "People like you? The 'superior race'" Her voice was bitter. Ramona sighed, there were pros and cons to being best friends with a muggle, on one hand, Harriet was a welcome stroke of normality in comparison with Ramona's wacky family, she went to a normal school, with normal friends and had the normal life that Ramona thought she craved so much. But on the other, she had absolutely no patience for Ramona's otherness, it was moments such as these that got on Ramona's wick. Friends are supposed to understand each other, aren't they?

"Look Harriet, I don't know why you're so torn up anyway. It's not as if you ever talk to me at school anymore." Which was partially true, Harriet had been a lot more distant lately, partying until she dropped, drinking until she threw up, generally getting herself into trouble. Ramona, who couldn't bare the thought of a good scolding, steered clear of such activities, and Harriet judged her for her 'haugtiness'.

Harriet's breathing was ragged and it as a long time before either girl said anything. Ramona stared at the enormous trunk that sat on her bed, the trunk that contained every piece of her new life. It was puzzling everybody, this abrupt change in heart, Ramona had been so against it all, the whole magic thing, the first witch her family had ever known of to turn down her position at Hogwarts, opting for correspondence so as to gain a better understanding of her heritage and keep her powers at bay. But overall, for most of her short life, Ramona had yearned to be normal, her parents, although baffled, had accepted her twisted morals about magic being 'unnatural' and enrolled her in a public school, after listening to too many years of complaint. It wasn't really surprising then that they both toppled of their chairs when the fifteen year old expressed a sudden desire to go to Hogwarts. The desire sprang from something she couldn't quite define, a sense of fate, and purpose that she certainly wasn't going to explain to feather-brained Harriet. Ramona rolled her wand, Maple, thirteen inches, between her calloused fingers and wondered what it was that was drawing her to the castle, the symbol of a phenomenon she once swore to never accept. Was it intuition? Had all her hours of intense divination study brought her closer to her inner eye? Ramona laughed at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Harriet hissed

"Nothing. Look Harriet, I have to pack, I'll send you an owl when I get there."

"An owl? But you just said an owl was an exam."

"Bye Harri." And she hung up, the silence of the receiver was by far the best noise she'd heard all day.

"I still can't believe you've finally come to your senses."

"Me neither really, it's a bit… disorienting really."

"I thought, I swore you must've just been a Squib and trying to cover… or something, but no."

"Yeah.. well… I'm glad I'm not, I mean, it's bad enough knowing Harriet sometimes, but being her.. or like her, it's just… unfathomable."

"Oh come on Moo, they'll put you in Slytherin if you starting talking like that."

"Hmm… so who is in my year anyway? Any cute guys."

"Your year… man… I want to keep my status as caring sister and all and say keep away from The Marauders but... if you're looking for hot guys, I mean… Sirius Black, I'd sooo tap that."

"Jo that's sick! You're a seventh year!"

"So, Mum and Dad are five years apart."

"Yeah but, if this Syphilis kid is in my year, he isn't even legal, that puts you into the pedo club."

"I wouldn't even care. Seriously though, you'll see what I mean."

"I bet he's not my type at all. Five galleons."

"Oh you're on Mona, Sirius Black is _every_one's type."

Ramona's sister Joanna was in her seventh year at Hogwarts, she looked a lot like her sister, with dark brown curls that stuck out at odd angles, pale skin and watery blue eyes. Jo wasn't as smart as her sister, but she made up for it by being a Quidditch genius, she was captain on the Gryffindor team and made sure everybody knew it. Ramona hoped that Hogwarts wouldn't give her a big head like her sister. Jo was thrilled that her sister had finally come to her senses, Gryffindor always needed more brains, somebody to make up for all the house points that they lost due to the Marauders, if Black wasn't such a stud, Jo was pretty sure that most of Gryffindor would begrudge them that.

Having seen her sister off at the station many times before, Ramona was familiar with the entrance to Platform nine and three quarters, but it still made her heart jolt every time she walked through the seemingly solid barrier and emerged onto the platform. It was even more of a shock to the sense this year, knowing that she would soon be getting on that scarlet train and heading off across the country to a whole new world. The platform was crowded with witches and wizards, fussing over trunks and owls, kissing their children goodbye, arguing over compartment arrangements. Joanna manouvred through the crowds, her sister following nervously in her path, to where her Quidditch friends stood, obviously eager to be introduced to the family oddity that, as Ramona had feared, they already knew a great deal about.

"So, do you want to sit in our compartment or should I stop being clucky?" Jo asked, patting her sister on the shoulder. Ramona was going to say she was fine when a very scruffy haired boy with glasses, about her own age, confronted Jo with a look of pure horror stretched across his face.

"Bunnings says you're thinking of replacing me as seeker this year!" He exclaimed, glaring at Jo with malignance.

"He's pulling your leg, the slime ball only wants a place on the team so he can ask Pamela Dawkins out." Joanna laughed, receiving a strong punch in the arm from a tall, blonde haired girl with broad shoulders and enormous eyes.

"Oh, uh, Potter, you're a fifth year right?" Jo remembered, tapping the boy on the shoulder as he turned to leave.

"Yeah, why?"

"This is my sister Ramona, she's in your year but she's just started Hogwarts, could you and your.. er… friends, look after her until she finds somebody better?"

"Screw you Jo, but yeah sure. Sirius should be here soon." He laughed, watching the girls blush before turning to Ramona who was standing awkwardly next to her sister.

"Aanyway… I hope you know you're sister's seriously hot for my best friend, she's probably already commissioned you to spy on him in the showers of something." The boy shook his head in mock shame.

"I'm James Potter by the way. Don't judge me by my reputation."

"I'll try my best. I'm Ramona,"

"Cool. We should probably put our stuff on the train, once the seniors stop gossiping everything tends to get a bit congested."

"Sure." Ramona followed James through the crowds towards the train.

"So why weren't you at school before? Did you have spattergoit or something?"

"Splatter-what?"

"It's a disease, Sirius tried to pretend he had it once last year to get out of a transfiguration test, McGonagall was livid, sent owls to his parents and everything. It was hilarious."

"Oh.. no.. I didn't want to come, I did all my work via correspondence." James' jaw practically hit the pavement.

"You didn't _want _to go to Hogwarts."

"I didn't really like magic all that much to be honest." Ramona admitted, amused by the totally mind blown expression that was painted on the boy's face.

"I had this friend you see, and she was sort of the person that…" 

"Shat all over you?" James offered.

"Yeah, I suppose. She sort of drilled into me that magic was… weird and unnatural so she talked me into going to a state school and everything. It was pretty lame really."

"I would have told the cow to shove it." James muttered.

"Mind you, can't expect much more from a muggle, they're all narrow minded as hell… well… not all of them but.."

"Jo told me you get put in Slytherin if you hate muggles." Ramona said, before she could stop herself.

"Ha! The sorting hat wouldn't put you in Slytherin, he'd be too scared that Jo would rip him to shreds."

Ramona looked puzzled as she climbed aboard the train.

"The sorting _hat_?"

"Well yeah. Didn't you ever read Hogwarts: A History?" James asked smugly, obvious enjoying his superior knowledge.

Ramona was going to say that she'd started reading it the night before but James cut her off.

"S'alright neither have I."

TBC


	3. Chapter Two

The Hogwarts express was definitely the coziest, comfiest train Ramona had ever seen. It smelt of hot butter and fireworks and each compartment seemed to be a small living room unto itself. Students, not yet in their robes, sat in huddles, showing off trinkets and sharing holiday gossip. Ramona followed James down the corridor, trying to take it all in. These people were soon to become a part of her life; it was almost nauseating in a way.

"We're in here." James mumbled, grabbing the young girl by the wrist and pulling her into a compartment that they were currently sharing with three other boys whom, Ramona realized, were probably the notorious 'Marauders'.

"James, buddy!" The boy nearest the door got up and gave his friend a quick hug.

"Hey, who's your friend, Prongs?" The boy turned to Ramona; a smile smeared across his face like chocolate, in that it was nice, and sweet, but you knew it was probably just a little bit bad for you. Ramona's voice stuck in her throat as she stared up at the boy who had just lost her five galleons. Sirius Black was tall, muscular, but in a delicate way. His skin was ivory and smooth, to the extent that Ramona had to control herself and not reach out to touch it. His hair was as long as hers, and black, falling in silky waves on either side of his handsome face. His cheekbones were high and sharp, framing big grey eyes quite nicely. There was no denying that Sirius Black was hot, and he knew it.

"This is Ramona Weatherspoon, the Quidditch captain's little sister. She's in our year, she was… uh… homeschooled."

"Ramona huh?" He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm Sirius, and this is Remus and Peter." He gestured to the other two boys in the room, Remus was boyishly handsome, with shaggy brown hair and a kind face; he had a thick book open on his lap.

"Hey."

Peter was a little on the chubby side, with a round face and blonde hair, he had slightly buckteeth and looked a little bit mousey. He grinned up at Ramona, who smiled back, brushed her hair out of her eyes and sat down between Remus and Sirius.

"We're probably the most irresponsible people your sister could have set you up with." Sirius sighed, leaning against the back of the couch.

"But we make up for it by being entertaining, charming and inexplicably sexy."

"And if I may point out that Sirius is always a conceited git?" James added.

"No need." Ramona mumbled, scooting away from the ebony haired boy who was leaning a little too close for comfort.

There was aloud chorus of "Oooooh" throughout the compartment as the three boys guffawed at Sirius' shocked face.

"Not such a ladies' man after all Padfoot?" Remus mumbled. He shot Ramona a smile.

"Shove off Lupin." Sirius spat, a mock growl in his voice. The Marauders laughed.

"Don't listen to these prats Ramona, they'll corrupt your innocence." He ran long fingers through his hair before shaking it off his face to reveal the sort of smile that said things Ramona didn't really want to think about.

"I look forward to it." Ramona muttered dryly.

"Nothing like the company of criminals to release one's inner animal, right Peter?" James stated with a pompous grin.

The Marauders burst into laughter, Ramona knew she didn't get the joke.

"You'll get it later." James tapped her leg, flinching as Remus shot him a dirty look.

"Or not." The bespectacled boy withdrew his hand and slumped back against the wall.

"What are you reading?" Ramona turned to Remus, her mind already unable to cope with the two dark haired scallywags nearest the door, and the pair proceeded to engage in a long conversation about early witch-hunts. Sirius rolled his eyes warily.

"James, when are you going to bring along a girl who isn't terminally nerdy?"

He received a swift kick to the shins from Ramona, on whom he hadn't seemed to make a sufficient first impression.

The train was already rolling deep into the English countryside by the time any Hogwarts students found themselves brave enough to peer into the Marauder's compartment.

Ramona let out a quiet 'eep' as the door rattles open.

Sirius let out a low, derogatory whistle. "Evans, what brings your smokin' hotness into the realm of the great?" he asked, winking profusely at the red-haired girl in the door way who was, in return, eyeing him with the sort of glare that says 'I want to gouge your eyes out'

"Are you lonely Lilly-boo?" Peter, who had not yet spoken, having had his mouth occupied with tastier things than talking, grinned up at the pretty girl with a mischievous smirk.

"Isn't Snivellous here yet?"

"Maybe he drowned in his own slime."

"_Ac_tually." Lilly Evans cut in, her voice, which was probably quite quiet and sweet, had a hint of acid in it. "I was just going to inform Remus that the headmaster wants to see him, alone, in his office on arrival."

She smiled nervously at Remus, who nodded shyly. "Thanks Lilly."

Ramona wondered silently, why Remus, who seemed the nicest, best behaved and least likely to be punished, member of the gang, should have any business in Dumbledore's office.

"Lilly?" James' voice was suddenly gentle, and he gazed up at the young woman with a sort of admiration.

"No, Potter. You can NOT copy my potions essay. Do your own work."

"I was just going to say tha…" James began, but Lilly was gone.

"Screw you too," Sirius muttered,

"Padfoot!" James cast his friend a look of disgust.

"She didn't even say hi did she, Mo?"

"Mo?" Ramona stared somewhat quizzically at the ebony-haired wizard.

"Ra-MO-na, Mo, it's easier." He explained. "You know, three syllables versus one. We're guys, it's out given birth rite to be lazy."

"Sure, fine. Mo's good."

Sirius smiled. "And in return you can call me 'darling' 'gorgeous' 'Babe'…"

"Conceited."

"Annoying."

"Sleazy."

Ramona laughed, she was beginning to think Sirius Black was a right git; it was reassuring to know that his friends weren't having any of his crap either.

The Marauders, and their female accomplice, spent a good deal of the trip giggling, fooling and hurling insults, and sweets from the passing trolley, at one another. Ramona's grin didn't fade for a long time. She knew that once she got to Hogwarts, her sensibilities, and fear of getting into trouble, would force her into finding a more sated, responsible group of associates, but for now she was an honourary Marauder, and enjoying it.

"So who do you suppose'll get prefects this year?" James asked, tearing off a hunk of licorice wand.

Sirius shrugged. "Not us, anyhow."

"Um… well… I wanted to tell you guys by owl but…" Remus was looking a little pink as he pinned a shiny red and gold badge to the breast of his robes.

"No way! Moony that's great!" Sirius sort of leapt over Ramona to give his friend a tight hug.

"Awesome! I mean, I'm not surprised, you've always been the studious one." James was patting Remus' knee, as the shaggy haired boy grew even redder.

"I bet your folks are proud."

"You won't be handing out detentions to us though will you."

"Of course, well… I might hold back a little, but Lilly won't, you can count on that."

Sirius' grin faltered. "Oh not _Evans._" He groaned. "We'll be spending every minute of our lives scrubbing floors with Filch."

"Maybe if _you _were a bit nicer to her." James muttered.

"Me? The only reason she hates us is because you keep making moves on her all the time."

"Not to mention all the pranks we play on Snivellous…"

"Hmm… that too. I can't honestly comprehend what she sees in that slime ball."

Ramona wondered who Snivellous was, and hoped that wasn't his real name. The Marauders seemed to dislike him a little. Maybe he was in Slytherin. Her stomach knotted a little as she wondered what house she'd end up in. The Marauders were all in Gryffindor, as was Joanna, and siblings are usually in the same houses… but what if she wasn't? What if there was a mistake? Ravenclaw wouldn't be _so _bad. Hufflepuff… she could live with that, but _Slytherin. _Not only would she never live it down, but Ramona had a bad feeling that Slytherin, the house of snakes, would change her. Slytherins were nasty, would that make her nasty too?

"I heard Burglebee's retiring," Peter said.

Sirius was chasing his chocolate frog around the room "Yeah, Dumbledore was interviewing people for Dark Arts Professor when we left."

"Do you know who got the job?" Remus asked.

"Something Riddle… " Peter began, but the looks on his friends faces stopped him short.

"Not _Tom_ Riddle?" Ramona tuned around so fast that her neck clicked in protest.

"Yeah, that's the one." Peter mumbled. "Is there something wrong with him?"

"Honestly Peter, don't you read?" James spat. "The man's a psycho, what the hell is Dumbledore thinking?"

"Wasn't he the one that got Hagrid thrown out of school?"

"I heard that he wants to make an army to wipe out muggle-borns."

"I read in the daily prophet just last week that he was supposedly a parslemouth."

"Just like Salazar Slytherin."

"And we all know he was a git."

Peter and Remus watched in amusement as the other three wound themselves up in rumours that probably weren't even true. They were going to give themselves nightmares before they'd even met the guy.

"Look, " Said Remus loudly, "If Dumbledore trusts him, what need have we to presume the man's a criminal?"

"Dumbledore's made mistakes before." James replied, looking fearful.

"And everyone knows that that position is pretty much cursed." Sirius added. "I mean, come on Moony, how many teachers can you name that have lasted more than a year?"

Remus rolled his eyes and went back to his book. The compartment was suddenly thick with tension. Ramona felt heavy, as though there were lead in her gut. _They're letting Tom Riddle teach at Hogwarts? The man thinks murder of muggles should be called 'racial cleansing'… this isn't right, this really isn't right._

"Look James! I can see Hogwarts! Can you see it?" Peter had his face pressed against the glass.

Remus pulled Ramona closer to the window. "Take a look Mo, it's pretty impressive at night."

Ramona crawled awkwardly over Remus to get a peek at the legendary school. She'd seen photos and paintings in her textbooks, but the small two-dimensional replicas of the castle couldn't even begin to compete with the sense of awe that flooded her body as the Castle came into view. Turrets, lit by a thousand cozy fires, climbed high into the star spangled night, bridges and halls and arches scattered across the castle like an architect's dream. It was so beautiful, so majestic, so _big_. Hogwarts was nestled in amongst great forests, mountain ranges and… _was that a lake? _Ramona was practically itching to see the castle from the inside. Remus let out a little whimper, and Ramona realized she was gripping his thigh very tightly. She let go suddenly, blushing.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. It's pretty amazing huh?"

Ramona didn't answer, her whole body filled up with happiness as the train began to slow. She was finally there, at Hogwarts, after all those years of refusing the temptation, she had given in, and it was the best feeling in the world.

"We'll see you in the great hall okay Moony." Sirius gave the sandy-haired boy's knee a squeeze as they got up.

"I'm sure it's nothing too serious, probably just about… you know."

Ramona was wondering what it was that Remus and the Marauders were hiding. Why did they call Remus 'Moony'? She was going to ask when a booming voice cut her off.

"Firs' ye'rs this way!"

"So, Mo," Sirius wrapped one long arm around her shoulders as they stepped off the train. "Welcome to Hogwarts."


	4. Chapter Three

So, these few first chapters are pretty boring, but I promise they'll get exciting later, reviews would be really great as I'm just new to this fanfiction thing and feeling a bit insecure Oh, and I forgot to put a disclaimer in last time. I don't own any of Rowling's characters or any other works of her brilliant mind. Thanks to A. N. Mouse for agreeing to be my Beta!

The Marauders, minus Remus, and a dumbstruck Ramona Weatherspoon stood at Hogsmeade station, turning their collars against a bitter Northern wind. The latter was brushing her shoulder length chocolate curls out of her eyes, squinting into the distance for the carriages that were rumoured to drive to students to the school.

"Sirius." She gasped, grabbing the boy's arm. "What on earth are those things pulling the carriages?" The carriages, which Jo swore always pulled themselves, were being drawn along by pairs of creepily magnificent skeletal horses, each wielding a set of bat-like wings.

Sirius looked puzzled. "Nothing's pulling them Mo, they pull themselves."

Ramona blinked, was she going mad. They were definitely there, weren't they?

"They're Thestrals." A calm, watery voice came from behind her and Ramona spun around. A pretty, black-haired girl was standing in the station, her face was plastered in dark make-up as if to make a statement about Satanism, or vampire rights, her blue eyes were fixed somewhat dreamily on the strange horses.

"You can only see them if you've witnessed death." Her voice was drifty. "You're Ramona Weatherspoon, you're sister talks about you a lot. My name is Heather; I look forward to meeting you. I'll see you inside."

Ramona had a thousand questions for the strange, gothic looking girl but she turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd of waiting students.

"What in the name of Merlin was that all about?" Peter asked, staring at Ramona as if she'd just turned blue.

"Heather never talks to anybody…" Sirius looked equally puzzled.

"Yeah, Sirius tried to get into her pants in third year." James wasn't particularly worried. "I can't believe somebody else can actually see those horse things that she goes on about, wrote a whole bloody yard of parchment on them once, nobody even believed they existed."

"Yeah, well… I've been called crazy before." Ramona grumbled as Sirius pulled her up into the carriage, away from the creeping fingers of the northern wind.

"So… who… died?" James asked gruffly, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, nobody I knew. My mother and I were coming home from the Theatre last year and this motorbike slammed into the back of a van, the guy went flying, landed practically on top of us, neck broken… blood everywhere… it was pretty awful."

"At least it wasn't somebody you know though right?" Peter sighed, patting the girl on the knee.

"Yeah."

"So, who else is keen for this feast?" James piped, eager to change the somber subject.

"You just finished stuffing your face with pumpkin pasties." Ramona exclaimed. "How can you possibly be hungry?"

"I'm a growing boy, I need my sustenance."

'Just make sure you don't eat all the lamb chops," Sirius mumbled. "Incase Moony's late, you know they're his favourite."

James raised an eyebrow. "No, I didn't, unlike you, I don't pay a creepy amount of attention to Remus' everyday habits."

"Well, Sirius has to doesn't he?" Peter smirked in the darkness of the carriage. "I mean, what if they suddenly get hungry in the middle of all that hot gay sex?"

Ramona choked on her own spit. "What?"

"He's kidding Mo," James laughed. "It's guy humour."

"Oh, well, that's okay then." Ramona mumbled. "Not that I have anything against guys liking guys or anything…" she added hastily, the thought of Sirius and Remus together was actually sort of cute… not that she cared or anything.

"Neither do I Mo." James grinned. "So long as Siri doesn't start crushing on Snivellous…"

"I'd rather screw a hag, thanks all the same." Sirius made a gagging movement with his hand, before twisting it into the rude gesture that he then preceded to wave in James' face,

"Not that there's much difference." Peter added.

A large group of tiny, tittering first years shuffled nervously into the hall, staring all around themselves at the enormous magical room, flicking nervous eyes up to the long line of teachers that sat watching them with pride, Sirius and James had tried to explain to Ramona who each Professor was and what they taught, but Ramona had lost track as quickly as she was told, the only names she remembered were Dumbledore's, whom she knew of already, McGonagall, whom the boys had spent a fair deal of the train trip grizzling about, and Hagrid, who was sort of difficult to miss. Ramona and The Marauders watched the first years from the Gryffindor table, Ramona's gut twisting nervously. She was, for the moment, and honourary Gryffindor, due to the fact that her parents had written to Dumbledore for her, requesting that she be sorted in private so as to avoid the embarrassment of being the only non-tiny student in the squirming muddle that currently stood before the sorting hat,

Ramona had expected the hat to magnificent, colourful and bejeweled with rubies and emeralds, or at the very least tidy and respectable, but the tall pointy witch's hat that was perched in front of the quivering juniors was as tatty as ever. Its brim was torn and patched, the peak folded and crumpled in every direction, giving the thing a twisted, grumpy sort of face.

"What does it do?" She whispered to James, who was leaning, with an expression of boredom, on his hands.

"Wait and see."

Ramona jumped as a wide rip near the brim of the hat opened widely and, to the surprise of all the new students, herself included, the hat began to sing.

A thousand years or more ago,

When I was newly sewn,

There lived four wizards of renown,

Whose names are still well known:

Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,

Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,

Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,

Shrewd Slytherin, from fen.

They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,

They hatched a daring plan

To educate young sorcerers

Thus Hogwarts School began.

Now each of these four founders

Formed a different house, for each

Did value different virtues

In those they had to teach.

By Gryffindor, the bravest were

Prized far beyond the rest;

For Ravenclaw, the cleverest

Would always be the best;

For Hufflepuff, hard workers were

Most worth of admission;

And power-hungry Slytherin

Loved those of great ambition.

While still alive they did divide

Their favourites from the throng,

Yet how to pick the worth ones

When they were dead and gone?

'Twas Gryffindor who found the way,

He whipped me off his head

The founders put some brains in me

So I could chose instead!

Now slip me snug about your ears,

I've never yet been wrong,

I'll have a look inside your mind

And tell where you belong!

The Great hall roared with applause as the sorting hat quieted. Some of the first years were quaking. Ramona flicked her curls out her eyes again, they had a habit of creeping over her brow to impede her vision, and leant in to Sirius who was sitting o her left.

"Does it always sing?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yep, comes up with a new song every year too. We think it must get bored up in Dumbledore's office all year."

Professor McGonagall, a tall, thin witch with emerald green robes, severe horn-rimmed glasses and a tight bun of black hair glided down the stairs with a large scroll of parchment and the sorting began.

"Hornby, Romelda." A tiny, cloned-haired girl with a long nose scuttled forward.

"Ravenclaw!" Shouted the hat. The Ravenclaw table burst into applause.

"Kenningway, Theodore."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Lemont, Dianna."

"Ravenclaw!"

"It's that easy?" Ramona asked as her fears dissolved quietly.

"Well yeah, what were you expecting?" James laughed as a small bouquet of brand new Gryffindors took their seats.

"Jo told me you had to answer a test, and the questions were next to impossible."

"Jo would say that."

The murmur of conversations that filled the vast hall stopped suddenly, falling into a polite silence as Professor Dumbledore, headmaster, genius and wielder of the longest beard Ramona had ever seen, got to his feet.

"Welcome, and welcome back, to Hogwarts." He said, smiling knowingly at the sea of pupils. "In a few moments, you will be free to gorge yourself to you heart's content, do try the treacle tart, I dipped my finger in, in the kitchens before and it is glorious. But before we begin, I must say a few words." The headmaster peered over his half-moon spectacles and surveyed the school carefully.

"Firstly, Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you, for the umpteenth time, that the forbidden forest is out of bounds to all of you." His eyes wandered over the where the Marauders sat awkwardly avoiding his eyes. "Hence the name."

"Secondly, or was it third? I'd like to introduce a few changes in staff." His hands, wrinkled like the leather of a much-loved book, gestured to the long rows of teachers on either side of him.

"I regret to announce the loss of our dear Professor Dorsil Grimblehurst, who has retired with her sons to Scotland where they plan to start up a flobberworm farm, we wish her all the best with that… endeavor."

Dumbledore wiped his severely crooked nose with the arm of his long purple robes.

"The position of Arithmancy teacher will be taken up by the lovely Professor Brontilda Marylin Blight."

A short, plump woman with curly red hair and a nose like a potato, stood up quickly, bumping the table with her large stomach, and bowed slightly to the school who clapped vigorously, nobody had liked Grimblehurst very much.

"Yes, thank you, Professor. The second change in staffing this year is brought about by the timely retirement of Professor Gareth Burglebee, whose witty remarks and pumpkin scones will be sorely missed amongst staff."

The teachers, excluding the new Professor Blight and a gaunt, black haired man with sallow eyes, nodded and murmured in agreement.

"His place, will be taken, by our own ex student, a favourite of yours I believe Horace," Dumbledore said, turning to the potion's teacher who was fiddling nervously with a spoon.

"Professor Tom Marvolo Riddle."

A low, nervous murmur passed over the hall, obscured only by the applause from the Slytherin table that erupted a second later. The gaunt, black haired man stood, with a painful looking smile curling over his thin lips, and bowed, very slightly to the school.

"Now, that that's out of the way." Dumbledore pushed his spectacles back up his wonky nose.

"Tuck in." he waved his hands with a subtle flourish and Ramona gasped. The previously empty plates and platters upon the long house tables were suddenly laden with food. The hall seemed to forget all about the terrifying rumours they'd heard about their new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor as they grabbed ruthlessly at the food on the table. Ramona was suddenly starving, and joined her ravenous new friends in heaping as much meat, potato, vegetable and pie onto her plate as she could. Ramona's family had always commented on how much she could eat for such a skinny thing. Ramona always said that it wasn't her fault she was a dweedy little nerd, as opposed to a tall, strapping beast like her sister, who would then precede to hurl mash at Ramona with malicious intent.

Ramona was halfway through her second slice of steak and kidney pie when there was sharp tap on her shoulder, Ramona turned sharply, suddenly face to face with her sister, who was holding out her hand with a smirk.

"So, got my five galleons?" Joanna asked.

Ramona scowled. "Cow. I'll give it to you later, I haven't got my wallet with me."

"Told you so, didn't I?" Jo turned on her heel to walk briskly back to her friends who were all giggling madly. Ramon shook her head.

"What's Weatherspoon doing squeezing money out of her sister?" Sirius asked, propping his head on Ramona's shoulder.

She brushed him off, blushing a little behind her brown hair.

"I owe her money for last week." She said, a little too quickly.

"Uh ha." Sirius didn't believe a word of it, obviously.

"Hey," Remus was suddenly there, squeezing between James and Peter who were sitting opposite Ramona. "What did I miss?"

"Oh hey, Moony." Peter gave his friend a strong pat on the back and the three Marauders all looked pleased that Remus seemed suitably unshaken by his visit to Dumbledore's office. "Not much, just a few new teachers."

"That Riddle character looks like a slimy jerk, I'll bet he was in Slytherin." James added, passing Remus the potatoes.

"Oh be quiet, we can't judge him before we've met him now, can we?" Remus tutted, shaking his head as he piled potatoes on to his plate.

"Says you. So anyway, what happened in Dumbledore's office? You look pretty pleased with yourself." Sirius was gnawing on a chop bone in a vulgar, dog-like fashion, making Ramona laugh.

"I'll tell you later." Remus muttered, glancing nervously at Ramona.

When the students were so uncomfortably full of Hogwarts cheer that they could barely walk, Dumbledore sent them up to their respective common rooms, save of course, Ramona, who was yet to find out which way she was going. Dumbledore himself glided down the hall to talk to her, and Ramona moved forward from her little group of troublemakers, leaving said boys to wonder whether to stay or go.

"So, Miss Ramona Weatherspoon." Dumbledore smiled down at her tenderly. "Your dear mother tells me you wish to be sorted privately."

"Yes Sir." Ramona replied, casting a glance sideways at the boys who were watching her apprehensively, Peter was licking his fingers and James looked as if he were about to be sick.

I suppose you'd better follow me to my office then." The headmaster gestured to towards the door. "You four, can head off to bed. Except you Remus, I'm sure Ms. Weatherspoon would like some company."

Remus blinked. "Of course, Professor."

Ramona waved nervously to James, Peter and Sirius and they scampered out of the hall towards the northern tower.

Remus and Ramona followed Dumbledore nervously. Ramona wanted to grab Remus' hand to keep herself from shaking, but told herself she was being stupid.

"Careful, the staircases tend to move around a lot." Remus whispered as they ascended. Ramona was gob smacked at just how enormous the school was. She couldn't even see the ceiling. Remus was right about the stairs, high above the three of them, Ramona could see them moving and switching all over the place.

"Ah yes, Hogwarts does like to play tricks on us, one could spend a thousand years in its walls and never know its secrets, or, indeed all of its passages, am I right Remus?" Dumbledore smiled secretively at the brown haired boy who suddenly seemed to have seen something very interesting on his shoe.

Ramona shrugged. Remus was allowed his secrets. The three came to a large door, guarded by two stone eagles.

Dumbledore raised his hands. "Fizzing Whisbee." He said softly, and the eagles parted, the door swinging open behind them.

Dumbledore's office was a strange, peculiarly decorated, circular room full of oddities. The walls were covered in portraits of who Ramona guessed were previous Headmasters and Headmistresses. There was a large stone basin in the corner, next to it a tall golden cabinet full of phials of a strange silvery liquid. The sorting hat sat on Dumbledore's desk. Ramona's lip trembled, realizing that the crumples in that dusty felt were about to decide her future.

"Sorry I haven't cleaned. I forgot I was expecting visitors and the house elves tend to steer clear of my office after an unfortunate incident with a dung bomb and a pair of enchanted trousers last year." Dumbledore sighed, placing an odd-looking brass instrument back on the mantelpiece.

"So, I just… put it on?" Ramona asked hesitantly, "There's no spell or anything?"

"Come. Come child, we haven't all day." The sorting hat muttered, causing Ramona to jump. Remus gave her shoulder a squeeze as she placed the tatty hat tenderly over her head.

It spoke to her in a low voice, whispering so quietly that she was almost sure Remus wouldn't hear. What Dumbledore's ears were capable of, she didn't know.

"Aah, you're a tricky one aren't you? There's wit… very clever aren't you? And brave… all those years of standing up to… oh! Ah, and a thirst for trouble, no doubt about that… I see you've already made friends to sate that hunger, then."

Ramona's heart was racing, why was it having so much trouble with her? What if it couldn't decide? What if there was a mistake? What if she was in Slytherin?

"Ambition is there too, oh, you are a tricky one… but I think I know just what you need…"

Ramona held her breath…

"Gryffindor!" The hat concluded for the whole room to hear. Ramona felt her heart burst with happiness. Remus bounded across the room and caught her in a tight and unexpected hug. Dumbledore smiled as if he's known all along, he probably had.

"Congratulations, Miss Weatherspoon, I'm sure you'll do credit to your house." He said calmly. "Now I'm sure Mr. Lupin would be delighted to escort you to your common room. Watch out for Peeves, Filch tells me he's feeling a little excited tonight."

Ramona already knew all about Peeves the Poltergeist from her sister's dastardly stories. She was a little nervous about running into him, but nothing could quash the happiness that filled her body.

She was in Gryffindor!

TBC

Reviews would be awesome, (begs like a sad puppy).


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